Welcome to Wordplay Thursday!
Today, I’m going to give you a topic, and the wordplay is to show that topic with ONLY sensory images (sight, smell, taste, touch, sound). The point is to have fun with the old Nashville advice that says, “Show me, don’t tell me.” You can just pick one sense, or you can challenge yourself by playing one image from each of the 5 senses.
This week, let’s paint a picture about…
“Swimming Pool”
Here’s an example to get you started:
“The concrete is rough and hot against the bottom of my feet. I feel my face turn red when I take my shirt off and look down at my round stomach. I smell coconut suntan lotion. A blonde-haired little girl shouts, ‘Marco!'”
Now it’s your turn. Show me, don’t tell me!
Oh, and please keep your posts below an R-rating. It’s a family show, after all…
And thanks to Jude Hart, Taylor, Ken Matthiessen, Jerry, Jeff Green, Will Curtis, Michael Klenda, Kris Fisher, Barney Coulter, Mark Brocke, Nick S., Linda Keser, Tomas Giraitis, Pete Smith, Nila, Matt Martoccio, Gregg Shivley and everyone else for your great additions to Wordplay Thursday #125 (read it here)! Great job!
Since strong imagery is such an important part of turning a cliche moment into a hit moment, I’ve put together a course on imagery. It’s called, “Use Imagery To Supercharge Your Songwriting (Like The Pros Do)” and it’s available now. By the end of the course, you’ll have the basic skills to:
- Effectively use both literal and figurative imagery.
- Make your story come to life using imagery.
- Prove your character’s personality using imagery.
- Make your listener connect to your character’s emotions using imagery.
- Hook your listener in the song’s first few lines using imagery.
- And to begin more songs (more easily) using imagery exercises as the start of your songwriting process.
God Bless,
Brent
I stopped, spot my clone in front of me,
Just couldn’t smell,
Tried to grab him, he was reaching out to me,
Just couldn’t feel,
It might sound weird, but he’s now all over me.
??
My wrinkled fingers slide on the wet slick tile as I submerge in the cool water. My body is lighter. Muffled voices and splashes make their way to my ears, yet I am distant and separate from others. As I ascend to the surface, my eyes squint from the reflection of the sun. I take in a breath and the constant presence of chlorine fills my nose and rests on my tongue.
It wasn’t as big as the one in town but the kids in my neighborhood didn’t mind. Made from thin blue funny smelling plastic and sporting colorful cartoon like fish around its shallow walls it was kept full of bone chilling water from a garden hose jury rigged at the top of the slide. Kids screamed with delight as they plunged head, feet or butt first over and over again down the slick metal slide into the waiting water below. Getting out just in time before the next one flew in they would wipe off their eyes and spit out the water which now tasted slightly of a couple of pooches that joined in on the fun.
Diving in deep as my belly toched the smooth bottom and the cool clean water scrubed all my worries away. The only thing that would pull me out was the smell of hotdogs and popcorn and the chance to share cherry icee with my girl.
The crystal clear water is in unpredictable, constant motion because of all the cannonballs it is taking. As I yell “Polo”, I would swear someone must have poured ice in right before my body breaks the plane from this world to the next. All the laughter and yelling become muffled as I sink into a world of slow motion, without sound or air. I know I’m on earth but I imagine spacewalking, doing a 360 going from perfect black to the vivid blues and greens of my home planet down below. The vision lasts only as long as I can hold my breath, never long enough. As I come up for air and perform a salty spit, it occurs to me…Astronaut! That would be a cool thing to be when I grow up. Alas, my vision ends and I yell “Marco!”.
Swimming pool….
Trimming tool
Brimming cool
Spinning spool
Grinning fool
Filming school
Swimming rule!
??????
The water is so clear. My feet start to tingle as my toes reach the end of the diving board. I turn around and see the line of kids waiting to climb the ladder. I look down knowing the option I’ve left myself is to take the free fall feet first. I take a step, not a jump, and flail the arms. Forgetting to hold my nose the cholorine invades and sputtering and choking my arms dog paddle to the ladder of my escape.
I can hear the diving board thumping repeatedly as I approach the cool, refreshing water of the YMCA pool. The tanned and energetic kids squeal gleefully in anticipation of taking their turn to jump and bellyflop off the smooth, wooden board.
My aching muscles are looking forward to releasing their tension in this joyfilled public “spa.”
As I stand up, the hot colorful plastic un-sticks itself with a rip from my legs. With some added pain to my boiling skin I start to walk towards the edge, slowly. The sun has drained all energy and it’s as if the air is maple syrup making my steps seem in slow motion. I jump off the edge and feel a shock ripple through my entire being. Encompassed with cool water that feels creamy from the oils and sweat as the water massages every inch of my skin. My head emerges from the water and like a newborn I take in a deep breath. For a minute I enjoy the complete ecstasy with the cool water holding my extra weight and the drips running down my face like a tear filled girl on prom night. I grab the silver poles that seem to be frying pans against my hands and emerge from the water as a new man ready to stick myself to that hot colorful plastic chair again.