Welcome to Wordplay Thursday!
I think a huge part of effective writing, songwriting or otherwise, is wrapping intangible ideas or emotions in imagery. I want you to wrap today’s topic in sensory images. Use any or all of the five senses. How does this idea LOOK, SOUND, SMELL, TASTE, and FEEL?
Feel free to get as crazy, genre-appropriate, or as imaginative as you want. The point is to get the creative juices flowing. And it’s a good thing to dig deeper, so don’t stop at the first idea that hits you. Try coming up with at least five things.
And remember, we’re going for ONLY imagery. We’re not talking ABOUT the topic. We’re SHOWING the topic with imagery. Show me, don’t tell me!
Today’s topic is:
DISAPPOINTMENT
I’ll give you an example to get you started:
“His rose bouquet and his eyes both lowered at her front door when her mom said, ‘I’m sorry, she’s not here’.”
I’d love to hear what you come up with, so please share in the comments. Oh, and please keep your posts below an R-rating. It’s a family show, after all!
God Bless,
Brent
SHOUT OUT!
Thanks to Matt Martoccio, Amy Nichols, Tim Bell, Janet Goodman, Joe Slyzelia, Ken Matthiessen, Brenda, Mark Steven Brocke and everyone else for your great additions to Wordplay Thursday #91 (read it here)! Great job!
FREE AMAZON BESTSELLER!
Thanks to those of you who have already downloaded my book, Hit Songwriting: How A Songwriting Coach Can Fast Track Your Success! You made it an Amazon bestseller in the Songwriting and Music Instruction categories, and I really appreciate it! However, if you haven’t downloaded your copy yet, you can get it FOR FREE at www.GiftFromBrent.com or by clicking on the image below. Enjoy!
God Bless,
Brent
The evening breeze blew cool air on her face and carried with it the whistle of a distant train, making her heart ache deeply for something she couldn’t define.
Thanks for joining in, Pam!
Transported by her scent to the cold fire of regret to a lost place where their souls were once entwined
Online she said she was a ten
But drop dead ugly’s what walked in
The look of horror on her face.. .quickly gave way into a grin the size of Manhattan…as she could barely control her laughter …that soon had her roaring in uncontrollable hysterics…with tears streaming down her face…clutching at her sides…she looked down at her four year old son Johnny…who was covered in flour from head to toe…& asked him what he was doing…he looked up at her with a big smile on his face & said proudly, ” Cookin’! ”
Sorry…obviously…I missed the theme ” DISAPPOINTMENT ”…I guess that’s what
happens…when you read things half asleep…without that 2nd coffee in you…
Haha! Well, in any case, it was very entertaining!
Thanks Brent! In acting…I’ve heard the term…” go for the opposite ”
…well…in this case…I guess I really did! Ha ha!
Humm? Not sure if this is telling you, in my mind I’m seeing this image of an individual with high hopes and dreams that doesn’t go as planed (disappointment). So I’m writing this to try and show what happened to someone going to California to be an actor/actress and it’s not working out the way they planned. With that said here it goes->
“She left oklahoma chasing a dream in California,
She heard about the bright lights,
Thought they’d be waiting on her,
All she wanted was a better life,
More than Tulsa had to offer,
But now she’s standing at the street lights,
Selling her soul to fornicators,
-Well she’s a daughter of liberty
-And a product of California
-Yeah she’s a daughter of liberty
-And a product of California.
She walks along the streets at night,
Thinking about her life,
Yeah the life she left behind,
She calls her momma says its alright,
One day soon I’ll be living in the spot light,
-Well she’s a daughter of liberty
-And a product of California
-Yeah she’s a daughter of liberty
-And a product of California.
Earl Keith Jr. 😉
She tries so hard to please him
But she never gets it right
What starts out nice and easy
Always ends up in a fight
Life shouldn’t be this hard
She tells herself no more
As she’s cleaning up his dinner
Off the kitchen floor
Drive the ink into the paper, so those words he’ll surely hear.
If she’d have shouted from her mouth, in the room they’d disappear.
A tremble and a cramp won’t slow her hand now.
But the list is pages long and the ink spilled all around.
To wipe the blue away, she’d need only dry tears.
It’s the cheap perfume not hers that lingers beneath his ears.
In hopes of closing this book, she uses the ink like a friend.
Sits back, sighs and frowns, then picks up the pen again.
A look at the ceiling, for God’s approval and a nudge.
Crumpled paper on the floor with hopes blurred in a smudge.
Those words left in writing for him to soak through thin skin.
What she takes with her is a life time of try, and giving in.
The father of the twenty-two year old boy tried his best to conceal his feelings the day after UT graduation day when he realized his son would not be coming to work at the family business afterall, instead the young man hopped on the band bus with his high school best friend for a 30 day tour.
Answered the phone on the first ring happy as can be when the man said we decided to go with someone a little more qualified.
—
Didn’t know which was lower, his pride or his head
When he answered her phone instead
—
Finally able to visit his favorite website
All ready to play not expecting a fight
Pride on his face as he reads his name shouted out
Reads the subject of the week, his thoughts grow loud
Tries to make a comment and isn’t allowed
Legs shaking, mind racing was he voted out
—-
All dressed up in his red, white and blue
Teeth showing bright watching the evening news
His heart stopped, dry mouth and he couldn’t breath
As the newsman announces the next president to be
—-
Burgers pre made and grill all heated up
Tables, chairs and beer in the back of the truck
Family and friends will be here in no time
Then the rain starts to fall as he’s slicing a lime
The cold water hits his tanned skin from the sky
As the salty water starts to fall from his eye
I’m gonna try and turn this a positive song here (Brent, I have been listening to your advice !), so here goes:
I walked into a brighter room
After seventeen days working to the bone
And I know she was lonely waiting for her man
So I promised to be there every moment I can
I was waiting for the tears and to hear regret
But she just held me closely in her arms and said
She was never disappointed in me
Even at the worst she would always believe
Feel the fire in her heart, see the light in her eyes, until the last breath she breathes
She was never disappointed in me
Disappointed in the rain
that washes the days away
Disappointed in the tears
that I cried through all the years
All the hurt, the loss, the heartache
Gives me strength enough to dream
No I wont, let my disappointments
Get the better of me
His heart jumped,
Like a hiccup,
And the dam broke that held back his tears.
He watched her kiss,
His best friends lips,
And faced his darkest fears.